Greater Love...

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

It is Passion Week: a week that commemorates the betrayal and crucifixion of our Savior. For me, this year it comes with a pull on my heart from God. Today, while reading and praying, this verse was given to me. It has been a year for me since God called me to walk a different and difficult path; one that has torn me away from ideals that I cherished and clung to as false gods. In some ways, I have been playing chess with God…and the score currently rests with Christine 0, God “however many.”

Yesterday, I was asked to die to myself over something I cherished. Today, I mourned the death of a dream and turned heavenward for an answer to my pain. The answer came in the form of peace. I still do not know the end or the outcome but I know where I stand with God and that is all that matters. God answered a prayer that I prayer very specifically with the answer I did not want and while part of me still hopes that the answer may be wrong I know it is not. I die, I let go, and I turn heavenward in obedience to my baptism.

What does it mean to lay down your life for your friends? Does it mean standing in their place when they are dying justly or unjustly? Taking a bullet for them? Those endings make nice movies but in real life does it perhaps mean that we give up our desires and plans for what is God’s purpose for us in their lives? Does it mean doing everything for them or being willing to allow them to walk their own path? Being willing to hurt those that you care about when you know that it is for their own good. Do we save them from the pain that will only build them and make them stronger?

Tonight, the laying down of our life means to me to be self-death. Death to what I think is best for them and right. Death to what I want them to do. Death to my desire and being willing to accept the prescribed boundaries of the relationship. Being willing to be who God placed you there to be…be that the friend, the counselor, or the lover. It means being willing to let go of them when the time comes. To allow them to fade into the past if needed. It means you die to your comfort and hold those you love accountable to God’s law even if it does mean the death of the friendship. Being a friend means dying to yourself…over and over again.

God says that, “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” (John 15:14) He calls us to die as he died…to our desires, to our hopes, and to our dreams over and over again in the knowledge that all will be granted. ALL WILL BE GRANTED. Our human minds cannot grasp what that entails. The price of disobedience is too great. Obedience is shown to be the way of life over and over again. Obedience requires death.

But, from this death springs life, joy, and happiness. A life full and rich. A joy that does not fade. A happiness that overwhelms the deepest sorrow…but also allows us to still feel our pain and to grieve. Our God loves us. He chose us to be His children and calls us to the faith of a child. Is it that hard? Without Him, yes.

This is a week that we remember a sacrifice beyond all comparison to anything that we could ever be called to give. Christ, God incarnate, humbled Himself to take our place and laid down His life for us. His passion should be our passion. His obedience to the Father’s will should be our obedience.

Let us take up our cross and follow Him…knowing that as surely as He was brought back to life so to shall we. Our deaths are much smaller and our reward is beyond comparison.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these he will do, because I am going to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it. If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” ~John 14:12-15.

Blessings…

~Christine

Placing Behind and Facing Forward...

“Be still, and know that I am God.” ~ Psalm 46:10

This verse graces the wall in the dining area in my apartment and serves as a constant reminder of where my heart should turn in distress and fear. Its simplicity often overwhelms me. It calls forth to my heart reminding me to remember the rock upon which my hope and faith are built.

Recently, I realized how much of my life has been shaped by the pains and hurts of the past. I daily remember them and relive them, sometimes almost as if they were yesterday. One grief will never go away…that of the loss of a Mother. The other two however, they may be safely placed in the past where they belong. They do not define who I am before the community or God. The pain caused by them has, for the most part, been healed. These three pains, significant events in my life that have in many ways led me to be the person I am today, need not however, be all that anyone ever knows of me.

Recently I was asked what it was that I liked…and I confess that I really had no answer. Being a people pleaser and a molder I often find myself doing everything and anything. This question has caused me to stop and think and begin to learn how to say the word “no” when needed. Then, I realized how little I know about who I am in the sense of whom God created to be.

“Who am I?” was the question I asked myself today. “What did God design me for?” “What is my purpose?”

Who am I is the simple answer…I am a child of the Covenant, a daughter to the Most High God. He is the rock to which my tether is lashed. It is in Him that I find my life, laughter, joy, and peace. It is His beauty that I daily pray will shine forth from me. He is my calm in the storm. He is my strength and shield…a very present help in time of trouble.

The other two questions will take a bit longer to answer…but the answer will come. God will show the path and light the way. A path in which trials and troubles will often come. There will be battles to be fought and tears to be cried. But always, ever and unfailingly there will always be that quiet voice that I hear in my sleep reminding me….

“Be still, and know that I am God. Trust me, oh faithful daughter, trust me. Wait for me. All shall be given.”

With that calm quiet voice reassuring my heart as I rest in my bed, chasing my fears away, come those everlasting arms, ever strong and yet so gentle. True peace and comfort find their way to me and with this I fall asleep with that unexplainable peace surrounding me.

A new day dawns…and with it His ever unfailing mercies which are new every morning. Day after day and year after year. His saints are reminded of this often and we often choose to forget it. He, however, remains faithful.

For me, the path has not been shown, but happiness and hope does light the way. I rest easy knowing that if it is for my best it shall not be denied. My happiness is assured.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

Mama - Il Divo

Mama, thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love, you sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed along the way [along the way]

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, yeah I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong, Dry your eyes [dry your eyes]

Cause I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, I miss you

Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed along the way [along the way]

Cause I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama

The Proverbs 31 Woman...

Recently, I have been considering the virtues of being the virtuous wife as they relate to me. This morning it lead to a review of the last 22 verses of Proverbs 31 verse by verse in my journal. Here are my thoughts…

¹⁰An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.

-Be the young woman who waits on the Lord, work diligently, and trust. She is skilled in many areas. Worth pursuing. She waits to be pursued.

¹¹The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

She is faithful with that which is given to her care…reputation, money, children, the home.

¹²She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.

She protects his reputation. She guards how she speaks of him. She is discrete, obedient, and faithful.

¹³She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.

She sees the purpose and blessing of faithful work…she seeks it and does it well.

¹⁴She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.

Caring for her family with wisdom in the food she feeds them, both physical and spiritual. Quality is most likely emphasized. Distance and work to provide this do not trouble her.

¹⁵She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.

She is not slovenly. This reflects back to earlier verses. Faithfulness with what is given. She does not expect it to take care of itself. She is on the front lines in her household.

¹⁶She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

Her earlier faithfulness enables her to further bless her husband and family. This is further provision for them. She doesn’t do this without her counsel or her husband’s approval. This will be another jewel in his crown. This is an inheritance.

¹⁷She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.

She cares for her body. She does not grow lazy or cease to care for her needs. She keeps herself attractive for her husband.

¹⁸She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.

While she sleeps, that which she has invested in, planted, and worked for is still producing.

¹⁹She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.

She works…nothing is too menial to her. She is capable at everything.

²⁰She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.

She cares for those in need. She does not limit herself and her giving to her family.

²¹She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.

Quality. Her produce and attention to detail have made sure that those under her care will be well-dressed, warm, and their needs will be met.

²²She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.

She dresses well. Quality, once again. Her appearance will not bring dishonor to her husband. Her dress suits the situation. Also, her lovebed is well prepared.:-) Probably cute lingerie is involved somewhere.:-)

²³Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.

Her faithfulness and work in what he gives her brings him honor. He is blessed in his wise choice in choosing her.

²⁴She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.

Once again, productivity. Her produce is quality. She has more than her household needs so she is able to increase her husband’s income.

²⁵Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.

She is prepared for what may come. Her reputation and wisdom will stand against whatever is thrown at her. She does not fear for God is her strength and foundation. She trusts Him.

²⁶She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Her faith, experience and education have given her wisdom. She shares it, kindly and graciously, instructing others. She is not rude or abrasive. Her counsel is sought.

²⁷She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

She oversees, knows the ins and outs, accounts for the finances, feeds her household, studies scripture. She is always faithfully working, never slothfully lazy.

²⁸Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

Her work and faithfulness have not gone unnoticed. She receives respect and honor for all she has done and given. She finds rest.

²⁹"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."

His words of praise to her. He is proud of her, does not regret his choice of her as his helpmeet. This man adores his wife and will die for her.

³⁰Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Focus not on outward beauty or skills, develop inward beauty and all will follow. Fear God, honor Him and He will honor you. Faithfulness yet again.

³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

Her work and faithfulness will be seen and honored. She will not be forgotten.

Blessings...

~Christine

Letting Go...

"For every tear, a lesson learned,
Every good time golden,
But now it's time to let you go,
And I will not be broken."
Girlfriend ~Eve 6.

A voice on the wind, a still moment, a coming understanding, an accepted freedom...all of these are mine tonight.

Letting go...not giving up of hope but the return of the dream to Christ and the Heavenly Father, knowing that no matter what, this is His will and His way...also, one less layer between His heart and mine...and that, in and of it's self, is enough.

Instead of demanding why, understand that it is reason enough that the Father said "No". He saw fit to take away His blessing...He giveth and he taketh away.

"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord." Psalm 31:24

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"I know, O Lord, that your rules are righteous,
and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
Let your steadfast love comfort me
according to you promise to your servant." Psalm 119:75-76.

"Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous
right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"The Lord of hosts has sworn:
'As I have purposed,
so shall it be,
and as I have purposed,
so shall it stand." Isaiah 14:24

These are but a few of the verses which have comforted my soul in the past few months. Daily I am upheld and strengthen...blessed beyond belief.

Blessings...
~Christine

Dreams Will Come True If They Are From God...

Don't you know that God plants his own lovely dream in the human heart and that when that dream is mature and the time is right for it's fulfillment, well, suddenly to our astonishment and delight, His will becomes ours and ours His. Now who but God could have thought out anything as perfect as this?" ~Peter Marshal in "A Man Called Peter."

Heartbreak...

And the pain comes again.

I trusted...it was broken.

Now Christ must heal the wound.

Time...