A Mother's Prayer...

“Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what He has done for my soul.” ~Psalm 66:16.

To say that my life has not been what I planned on it being would be the understatement of the century. God’s plan for my life is something that I have come to see as incredible and the journey to get to this point has been long and hard. There have been sleepless nights. There have been tears. There has been loss, heartbreaks, and grief. There have been prayers prayed, battles fought, and lessons learned. There has been healing. Joy has been restored.

Early in the last summer before Momma fell ill, she and I were sitting in the dinning room having one of those talks that mothers must sometimes have with their daughters. I don’t remember everything that was said, but out of it all, one part sticks with me. It was the prayer that my mother told me she prayed for me. This prayer I now pray for myself and for my friends and family.

Momma prayed for God’s best for me.

A simple, yet powerful prayer that reaches beyond her death and into my life today and into my future, waiting for God’s plan to be revealed.

God’s best for me has been painful but wonderful. God’s best included the loss of my mother, the loss of lovers, and the crumbling of my family. A year ago, the final blow was laid and I fell to my Savior’s feet, broken and wounded, with nothing else to do but to allow Him to put me back together. And He has.

His best included pain because it took pain and loss to bring me back to Him and to His heart. In my pain I have found healing, love, and happiness. Today, a year later, I smile a smile of true beauty and my laugh comes from my soul again. I rest in my Savior’s arms knowing how much He truly does love me. I have come to know who I am in Him.

My mother was a wise woman. Strong she stood and fought for her family all throughout my childhood. Of course, like most children, I didn’t begin to rise up and call her blessed until just before I lost her. In my loss though, her friends gifted me with letters of their memories of her that I have read over and over again in these last two years since she was taken home. They tell a story of a different side of my mother. They speak of her smile, laugh, strength, out-spokenness, zany personality, and faithfulness. They speak of a woman who truly did change the lives of those who crossed her path. They speak of a woman who I am more honored than ever to call my mother.

In this last year, the reality that my mother is gone forever from this life has hit me and I have grieved. Grief is a very special and healing thing. It is something that you have to do for yourself. You have to find your own way through it. Loyal friends will be there to pray for and encourage you but that is all they can do. Grief is something you have to be willing to go through to find the life on the other end.

Never will there be anyone who will take my mother’s place in my life. And the strength of her prayer has been seen in my life. She literally gave her life for my good and for the good of my family. God saw fit to take her because it was good. In our brokenness we often cannot see this but as time heals the wounds and we submit ourselves to God’s plan, we see His love in these moments. How else does he draw us closer to Him?

As a result of my mother’s prayer I stand here tonight healed. Lovingly the pieces of my heart have been sewed back together by the hand of Christ Himself. My strength comes from the Lord and my foundation is laid in sapphires. Who I thought I was is nothing compared to who He has made me to be. My heart rests safe and secure in His everlasting arms.

As I go through the years the memories of my mother will always be some of the greatest treasures that I will carry. She was truly one in a million. She gave of herself each and everyday for her family and never wanted anything more than the best for each of us.

Forward is the only direction to go and as I turn forward, a smile is on my face and laughter is in my heart knowing that the hand of God guides my every step. All shall be well and many joys and trials await me in the days ahead but I am certain of one thing. With me I take the love of my Heavenly Father…and that is more than enough.

It is time to live…and to live well.

“I will turn their mourning into joy; I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.” ~Jeremiah 31:13b.

Blessings...

~Christine