Bearing That Cross...

“And as they led Him away, they seized one Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, and laid on him the cross, to carry it behind Jesus.” ~Luke 23:26

“Then He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around Him.” ~John 13:5

It is Maundy Thursday, the day that commemorates that last supper which has become so symbolic in my own life of headship, submission, nourishment, and life. This day remembers the last fellowship of Christ with His disciples prior to His sacrificial death. The day before He bore the cross.

I find that Simon always catches my attention. What were his thoughts as he was pulled from the crowd to lift up this heavy cross and bear it for our Savior? What fear was in his belly as he dragged it up the hill, the crowd around him laughing and jeering? Did he realize that he was representing what we must all do should we wish to follow Christ?

Michael Card sings a beautiful song entitled “The Basin and the Towel” which recounts the story of Christ washing the feet of the disciples. I fully recommend youtubing it should you have the time. The chorus is beautiful…

“And the call is to community,
The impoverished power that sets the soul free.
In humility, to take the vow,
that day after day we must take up the basin and the towel.”

That basin and towel is one that I know I often fail to take up. My self-centered nature doesn’t wish to die for anyone…much less for Christ and His will. My wants and my desires seem so important. How often do I forget the commandment given by our Savior to His disciples that night?

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” ~John 13:34

I am a sinner. So often I fall so short of any resemblance to Christ. I reach, I grasp, I plot, and I plan how to achieve what it is that I think is my best. This passion week I have been dying. Dying to my past and to my need to hold on to those in my life who God has called me to give up. I am scared to let them go for fear I may need them later. I have been dying to my desire to please and capitulate. But most of all I have been called to die to my own idols and visions of my dreams. I am called to sacrifice my Eden.

Tonight, I go to bed knowing that tomorrow will come and with it will come the last alone day of this passion week for me. Good Friday, the death of Christ, and the death, Lord willing, of all my sinful desires. May I die to my false self. May I see that to which I grasp and cling to. May I be willing to open my hands and to be willing to grant my heart to Him fully.

Death is hard. It hurts. I see it over and over again. In so many ways death touches and comes into my life. What I have come to know and believe however is that life truly does come from death. You really must lose your life to find it. You must allow God to take away the false self that you have built, to change you from the person that you thought, in all of your measly human wisdom, was who He made you to be. Death must be died before you can have life. You must suffer to die and it will be painful.

Five years ago I began a journey that changed my life. It started with falling in love with earthly things. I pray that this week that this chapter of the journey closes by me falling in love with Heavenly things more than ever before. I pray that my humanity and grasping would be slain on the alter and that I would be presented as a living sacrifice.

I pray that His will shall be done…I pray that I learn to bear my cross, taking up the basin and the towel, and that I am resurrected in His glory. I pray that my life may shine for Him and His will alone.

“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?” ~Jeremiah 32:27.

Blessings,

~Christine