A Foundation of Sapphires...

“O afflicted one, storm tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and lay your foundation with sapphires.” ~Isaiah 54:11

"You will see the faithfulness of God’s promises to you."

This thought springs to mind as I sit, windows open, the warm, humid breeze wafting through my apartment. Somehow promises and foundations seem to be trains of thought for the day. This week has been so odd and the trend continues. Emotional exhaustion overwhelms me. Multiple times today I have gone back to bed to try and rest but sleep escapes me. My thoughts are muddled with no clarity. There is no train.

But the sapphires caught me. What does it mean to have a foundation of sapphires? In thinking of those beautiful blue stones I think it must have something to do with strength and beauty. Rare, resilient, and glorious they shine and sparkle. As do the hearts of those who trust in the Savior.

Our pasts haunt us. In everyone’s life there is sin, pain, and death. It is so easy to dwell upon that which has been taken and lost. Childhood memories float around in our minds sometimes coming forward in crystalline clarity. For me, I find that I remember those days and often wish to go back and cherish them again for what they were now that they are gone. Reality is, I cannot. Those days are gone forever. Forever, they will live on in my memory but that is where they must stay.

There is a fine line between remembering and holding on. Life has seasons that often bleed into each other without well-defined lines. People come and go without reason or explanation. Then there are times when a clean cut must be made and people must walk away hurt. There comes a time in life when you learn the need to set boundaries. All of this comes in different ways for different people.

With remembering there is an ease. The memory comes and there is no pain felt at the mental image. For a moment the visions of what once was play upon your memory. Then it is forgotten again until the day comes for it to be remembered again. It is not dwelt upon. There is no clinging.

In holding-on we create an idol. We will find ourselves trying to recreate those days and force the days and people in front of us to conform to the image of the past. There is stress, there is strain….there is no peace.

This lesson comes to me today as I pray and ask God what it is that I must give up. This week I have been called to let go of an old friend, to give up a desire, and to learn to say no. All of it is self-death. All of it hurts and causes a death to my self-image. One more death to what I think and one more realization of who it is that Christ created me to be.

A year ago, I began a journey marked by pain. Now, it represents mercy, grace, and life. What was once one of the greatest pains has become one of the greatest blessings. In this year I have processed and placed behind me much. How much more is to come I cannot say but I do know that there is a well-laid foundation. I know that my foundation is sapphire…for He has told me that it is. This foundation, which was built with pain, loss, and humility, has now turned to beauty and will stand the test of time and all that Satan and his demons can throw at it.

Exhausted from the battle I sit here, calm in my heart but knowing that there is a tear behind my eye. There is a grief coming. There is a tearing away of an idol coming and I know it. But I do not run. I prepare. I make my heart willing to let go. I pray that I will be willing to forget that which I have held dear. There is no fear, only anticipation as I realize what comes on the wind. The clouds gather, symbolic on this Good Friday.

“Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.” ~Philippians 3:13.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life.” ~Deuteronomy 4:9

These two verses seem to contradict, but truly they do not. It has to do with submission to God’s will. We are to remember the blessings and His faithfulness. We are to remember the journey our heart has gone upon. What we are to forget is the pain and we are to allow the past to become the past. It is the foundation. It is the cutting of the sapphires. It will become the setting of our heart and the frame of our lives.

Remember His blessings. Remember His faithfulness. Lose you life to find it. Death is not the end…it is the beginning. Deaths must be died so that we may find life. Suffering is a part of life, guaranteed to us by the life of our Savior who bore it all without complaint or fear. There will be a cross and there will be resurrection. This is why we keep the church calendar to remind us, every year, of the sacrifice that was made for us and the sacrifice that will be required of us.

“Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” ~Matthew 16:24-25.

Blessings…

~Christine