Suffering and Resurrection...

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.” ~Jeremiah 29:11

The reading for the Tuesday before Easter in The Common Book of Prayer contains this collect.

“O Lord God, whose blessed Son, our Savior, gave his back to the smiters and hid not his face from shame; Grant us grace to take joyfully the sufferings of the present time, in full assurance of the glory that shall be revealed; through the same thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

As I sat on my balcony and read these words aloud this evening, followed by the epistle and gospel readings for the day, I was caught by the reference to suffering. In my own life, I often have many moments of suffering amidst the many blessings that also are given to me. My response often leaves much to be desired. How often do I joyfully take up my sufferings? How often do I realize that these are what makes me Christ-like?

God has granted me a large portion of passion. My friends often laugh with me for my zest of life and the delight that I take in those things that I love. I throw myself in, often not thinking through to the end and I live the moment fully. Then comes those moments that bring pain and they are just as passionate as the moments of happiness. My tears come pouring down and my broken heart grieves for what was lost. The passion of joy and the passion of sorrow mirror each other.

You see, I know what I desire. In my humanity I often reach out of God’s timing and will, convinced that I know what it best, and try to take hold of that which is not given. The result, God must teach me to die to myself yet again.

Desire and death are two things that, thanks to the fall, must go hand in hand. Our hearts longs for heaven more than we know and we spend countless human hours trying to create that paradise for ourselves here on earth. And we fail. The desired object becomes the object of pain if taken out of God’s time. We cannot arrange for eternity here. Sin will not allow it.

Suffering comes as a part of the fall but it is also one of the tools used to bring us closer to heaven. It comes as a part of the life accepted when you chose Christ the King as your Lord. You become an enemy of the world. You are promised that you will suffer.

As I learn to place my desires before the throne of God, trusting Him with them and giving them to His timing, I must learn over and over again to not reach out to take them back. I must leave them at His feet and when I unknowingly take them up I must return them again with the proper repentance…and often along with that comes some form of pain and suffering.

In this, however, I have learned that the pain and suffering are not bad. I have learned to not run from the tears. I have learned to cast myself before His feet in humble repentance, to give my broken and hurting heart to Him for healing, and to confide the deepest fears that I only realize in the moment of brokenness to Him. You see, in my tears my walls fall down. I become honest with myself. I see my ugliness and sin for all that it is and this allows me to confess it. And with confession and the death required for repentance, a seed of life is planted. This seed begins to slowly grow and blossom, and when it is ready, in the fullness of time, the flower bursts forth and God’s beauty shines radiantly through me in the form of the smile and laughter that He so lovingly bestowed upon me.

If you desire life, be not afraid to take the path of suffering. Christ did and He obtained salvation for humanity. He obeyed and took upon Himself that which was not His to bear but that which no one else could bear. Suffering is the harder path. You will be confronted with much that you did not expect. You will see yourself in a new light…and then, finally, through the death and suffering will come the flower and the resurrection.

I promise…it is worth it.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” ~Matthew 5:6.

Blessings…

~Christine